We all want to wax philosophical and capture the audience like Vince Vaughn, but Vinnie We are not. As a man we can be forgiven slight lapses in propriety as we extol the virtues, or lack of, that the Groom is known for. But it’s best to stay vague when you reference actual events that were “embarrassing”. Try to keep the heat on the groom and not the rest of the wedding party. If you do involve anyone outside the Groom be sure to avoid digs at physical or mental deficiencies, things that could be hurtful. Your goal is leave the audience with some chuckles and a slight warm fuzzy.

• Prepare thoroughly! Your job of writing the speech should ideally start several weeks before the big day. This will enable you to practice the speech, when to pause, the intonations of your voice, the jokes. The more you practice the less nervous you will be, remember practice makes perfect. – to be honest you will be so busy you wont have time to get nervous!
• Run the speech by a couple of your friends, they will let you know how you are doing
• Keep it relevant to the crowd, inside jokes with you and the groom don’t tend to translate to the crowd.
• Make a decision whether to read your speech, memorize it or write down key points to help you.
• The ideal speech should last five to seven minutes (approximately 1000 words).
• With regards to the content, the basic guidelines for the structure include: the beginning (greeting, thank you’s, introduction, keep it short and sweet) + middle (the good stuff) + end (wind down and toast).
• If you have any good photos of the groom in his prime, they will have everyone laughing, you could put them up on a projector. It will also add time to your speech.
• Speak to friends & family of the groom, they might offer a few edgy anecdotal gems for you to incorporate into your speech.
• Try not to shame the family, with talking about the groom’s wild and crazy years (there is a limit) we don’t want to hear how he slept with half of the women’s swim team or that he broke into his school and graffitied the locker room, remember his grandma and granddad are sitting in the crowd. Try to make him sound loveable and endearing, you could mention how the groom has changed for good now that he has met the love of his life.
• Watch your language, remember their will be children and grandparents in the audience.
• There is no need to publicly humiliate anyone in the crowd, nobody wants to hear a joke at their expense.
• Other sources of material you could use for your speech include horoscopes. Find out the star signs of the bride and groom, look for any associated characteristics and traits of the couple. Or where the typical qualities don't match or where the star sign's vices do! Instead of star signs you could use Chinese animal signs that work in very much the same way.
• Look for any interesting historical dates that coincide with the wedding date or when the couple were born etc, e.g. 'David was born in the year that man first walked on the moon ... and he's certainly starry eyed tonight'.
• Also look into the meaning of the couple’s last name, it could add to the grooms qualities e.g. the fact that their name comes from the Latin for 'strength' or 'love' etc can be a striking way of underlining the message. Have a look at "www.behindthename.com" to get you started.
• Or you could compare the bride and groom to a celebrity couple or one with the same name in terms of job, image, clothes, status etc. Do they mirror themselves on a famous person? What pop star did they want to be as a child? Any comparisons or anecdotes on the similarities (and differences!) between your subject and their idol can be a good source of fun too.

Tips during the best mans speech

• Remember to breathe (we don’t need any medical emergencies) - deeply and rhythmically. It pumps oxygen into your blood and keeps the brain sharp.
• Try not to hit the bar prior to the best mans speech, no one wants to hear a slurring drunk and only you will think your jokes are funny!
• Also don't drink a lot of caffeine beforehand, caffeine is a nervous stimulant. It is the opposite of what you will want before speaking at the wedding reception.
• Imagine it's over - This is a very popular NLP (neuro linguistic programming) technique. Before you stand up, you visualize the end result as you feeling elated and relieved with everyone smiling and clapping. Thinking how great you'll feel will relax you in the present moment.
• Think of something funny, something that will make you laugh, this will help relax you, just make sure you don’t need the bathroom!!
• Smile! - Be welcoming and warm. It sets the tone straight away and people will immediately warm to you without knowing why.
• Relax - It's your time, everyone wants to listen to you, they are the warmest audience and they want you to succeed, remember this and you'll deliver your words with confidence and ease.
• Make eye contact with the audience - Look around. The trick is to imagine you're just chatting to a warm and welcoming crowd of friends.
• Speak slowly and clearly -. you don't need to talk constantly - it gives guests a break, and if you're not afraid of silence, you'll look confident, so everyone can relax. Don't hurry through the speech - speak slowly, take a breath, pause a little. It's easy to speed up until you sound as if you are commentating on the Derby.
• Remember this speech isn’t about you, it will help you to relax, don’t take yourself too seriously, if anyone heckles you, go with it.
• When you expect a laugh, wait for it – don’t start up again until the laughter has died down, if you don’t get a laugh, don’t worry, don’t rush, it might take a minute for people to get the joke. If someone is laughing before you have already begun, then make sure you are not carrying any unwanted toilet paper!
• Try and say something that everyone will understand about the couple in your speech or they will just feel left out, cater for everyone and you will do well.
• Look your best - You're going to be centre stage for a very short time, so look your best.
• Feeling nervous – you can always start of the speech with "The following speech is brought to you in association with Imodium."
• Flatter the lady in white, its her day, you will gain points with the family

Don't worry with some decent preparation a little confidence you'll deliver a great best man's speech! We have faith in you.

Links to tips

http://www.thebestmanspeech.com

http://weddings.about.com/od/theweddingparty/a/bestmanspeech.htm

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/779910/ultimate_best_man_speech/ - funny